[the character of SARCASTIC GUY is read in a voice that it just absolutely dripping with sarcasm in everything he says]
DEREK: Great party, huh? I actually don't know anyone at the party, actually, I'm kinda new to the neighborhood, actually, but my friend Chris said "come to the party, I'll introduce you around, you'll know everybody by the time you leave the party." Chris knows everybody, and soon I'll know everybody! 'Course, Chris didn't show up. So I guess I gotta mingle. So here I am mingling! 'Course, mingling really isn't my game, I'm not really a mingler, per se, I was actually in the corner alone mingling - that means I'm not talking to anyone, actually. I saw you over here, I said "there's a guy by himself, why not go over here, I'll mingle with this guy, this guy looks like a mingler," so hi, I'm Derek, pleased to meet you.
SARCASTIC GUY: Well it certainly is a pleasure to meet YOU, Derek.
DEREK: ...I'm sorry if I bothered you.
SARCASTIC GUY: Oh no, you're not bothering me, Derek, far from it. There's nothing I would rather do than just stand here and chat with you! Y'know - really get to know you?
DEREK: Look, I don't think there's any need to be sarcastic.
SARCASTIC GUY: Oh, I'm not being sarcastic! NOOOO! This is just a little speech impediment. I can't help it!
DEREK: Okay, I've obviously said or done something wrong to upset you, I'm just gonna apologize and be on my way.
SARCASTIC GUY: No, no, no, please stay. It's true. I've talked this way all my life. It's made things very difficult for me.
DEREK: Yeah! Right!
SARCASTIC GUY: Hey! Where ya goin'? Come back! I really wanna be your friend. I'm so lonely.
*Read here.
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3 comments:
speech impediment? nice... maybe i should use that excuse being sarcastic when talking to people that I REALLY LIKE. NO, SERIOUSLY. I DONT HATE U GUYS AT ALL.
sorry, ter-put anonymous. the last comment was me.
Yeah! You go do that!
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