Sunday, November 13, 2005

Now why isn't this in the Malaysian Book of Records?? Malaysia boleh!

From an article at torrentspy.com:

"Malaysia is thought to be the world's largest exporter of pirated discs. Pirated discs produced in Malaysia have been found across Europe, Asia, Latin America and, most recently, in South Africa."

Monday, November 07, 2005

Part 2?!

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh #@@!
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh #@@!
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I joke, I joke!

Making fun of ah bengs again..

Ah Beng was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. This is what he came up with:

1 fine day I go 2 climb up a 3 beside an apartment to peep. After saw by the couple in the room, I got panic and had a great 4. The man rushed out and had a 5 with me, I run away to 6 for help. End up running into 7 eleven, I grab some 8 and throw at him and pull out a 9 to stab him. And 10 hor...10 hor...10...he die lor.

Baseball

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - "how much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says...$1000 dollars

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again...."

Sons

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.


The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.


The second guy says: Damn, that's terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a traveling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also manage to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.


The third guy says: Well, well, well congratulations!! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some thing very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion specially for his friend.


The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of theirs sons.


The forth friend who earlier had gone to restroom returned and asked:
"What's going on, what are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. And then he asked, "What about your son?"


The forth man replied: My son is Gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub. The three friends said: What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel.


The forth man replied: No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends.

Geeks

A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk.

"Kiss me and I will turn into a princess."

The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours."

The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back. The frog is really frustrated. "I don't get it. Why won't you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask."

The guy says, "Look, I'm a computer geek. I don't have time for girls. But a talking frog is cool...!"

We need a new software publisher!

Abbott: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
Costello: Thanks, I’m setting up an office in my den, and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: No, the name’s Lou.
Abbott: Your computer?
Costello: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name’s Lou!
Abbott: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
Abbott: Wallpaper.
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Abbott: Software for Windows?
Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Abbott: Recommend something.
Costello: You recommending something?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: For my office?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office!
Abbott: I recommended Office with Windows.
Costello: I already have an office and it has windows! Okay, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Abbott: Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: Word in Office.
Costello: The only word in office is office.
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: Which word in office for windows?
Abbott: The Word you get when you click on the blue “W”.
Costello: I’m gonna click your blue W if you don’t start with some straight answers. Okay, forget that. Can I watch movies on the internet?
Abbott: Yes, you want Real One.
Costello: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I want to watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel; 2,3& 4. Can I watch them?
Abbott: Of course.
Costello: Great, with what?
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: Okay, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
Abbott: You click the blue “1”.
Costello: I click the blue one what?
Abbott: The blue “1”.
Costello: Is that different from the blue “W”.
Abbott: The blue “1” is Real One and the blue “W” is Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: But there are three words in “office for windows”!
Abbott: No, just one, but it’s the most popular word in the world.
Costello: It is?
Abbott: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.
Costello: And that word is the real one?
Abbott: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
Costello: Stop! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? DO you have anything I can track my money with?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: That’s right. What do you have?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer.
Costello: What's bundled with my computer?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Abbott: One copy.
Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Costello: They give you a license to copy money?